Thursday, June 09, 2005

It is ok to cry

The truth is that almost all of people I know have cried sometime during their first year in NUS. It does not matter, really, whether you are a boy or a girl. Surely, girls might cry much easier; not because they are weaker than boys but because boys are taught not to do so. Spare yourself some "shameful" moments when come here.

You probably ask why that is so? People cried due to various reasons. Love, stress, home-sickness, etc. But, I guess, all of us cried because we had some problems and we didn't know how to deal with them. Well, nothing to be surprised though. Many of you are in the same situation like mine few years ago. Have just got out of the high school: fresh, innocent, and energetic. However, living alone without family is quite tough. It is tougher than I thought, and certainly than you thought. No friends, no family, no loved one(s), no mum-cooked meals, and - a lot of time - no sleep. These alone are too much. Moreoever, too much bullshit like washing clothes and cleaning rooms; basically taking care of all the little things in your life. In addition, if you are poor like I were, no entertainment then. By the way, have you ever got this weird feeling when you don't understand what the hell people around are talking, yet you have to? Yeah, you will get this when you are not fluent in English; ironically, if you are too good, you will have the same problem here too. And the worst thing you have to deal with is the study-stress. The work-load is high, and with all the bullshit above it becomes unbearable. Almost!

So if you find yourself in the middle of the most miserable situation and want to cry out lound, just do it! Nothing to be ashamed of. Most people do it anyway. But that is not the problem yet. The problem is that many of us - at those desperate moments - asked ourselves "Why am I here?" or "What the hell is happening?". After a while, you will realize NUS is just so so, not that great anyway, and definitely not a first class uni as they claim to be. Now you leave all the great things back home to come here for "nothing". Do you miss a peaceful morning sipping a cup of damn smooth black coffee in the old quarter after having a damn good bowl of beef noodle? So do I! I cannot give you the answer; I am not sure if I found a good answer for myself, or just tried to push myself some extra mileage. I really don't know.

But one thing I know for sure: everyone had the same problem, and somehow everyone has been able to get over that critical moment. The first year I talking about. A long the long journey here - later on - you might hit few other shit. But, really, after the first year I am sure you will become much more sober and will know how to do deal with all kind of other problems. So my friends, if every now and then you cry during the first year here, and I am sure you will, it is normal; just be cool, everyone so far has been able to get over it. You can too.


Blogger Nguyen Huu Tri said...

Haha, indeed, i couldnt share the same feelings. My first years in NUS was fantastic. I knew so many new people, met great friends for life. Studying was indeed not that tough. Yet, the fact that I was able to take care of myself, do whatever i want, sleep at whatever time i wanted was simply fantastic.
But in fact, i did cry :D... when I broke up with my first love. I was not that home sick at all, but one thing for sure is that I did love my family and my hometown much more when i was away.
Lastly, I want to stress 1 thing that your emotion is your choice to react with what happens to you... you emotion is the result of external force filtered through the lense of attitude. So, it surely depends on your attitude when you first come to NUS.

7:30 AM  

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